The nakedness of my dreams

Do you “have intercourse in your dreams”? Are you “chased by animals in your dreams”? Do you suffer from “nakedness in your dreams”? Well, rejoice! I’ve got the perfect church for you. You can find all the necessary information on this flyer from the LifeZone Church I found at the Jamaica Center Station of the New York Subway. (Click on image to enlarge.) I know what you are thinking, but let me explain…

You may think the author of the flyer is a lunatic or a crook trying to screw the poor people of this hard-luck neighborhood for the little money they may have. Don’t be so fast to judge. Read, I beg you. They don’t just help you overcome your dreams of being naked, having intercourse and being chased by animals. If you “hear voices, experience unexplainable financial, marital and professional problem [sic],” they say they can help with that stuff too.

Oh! and they can provide “deliverance from spells, voodoo, curses […] bad luck, witchcraft, failure, poverty, household wickedness, etc.”

Well, consider this. I don’t know this people, and I don’t go around town telling everybody about my problems. So, just tell me, how did they found out all this stuff about me before posting the flyer at my bus stop? I just have to find out. I’ll have to pay a visit to the LifeZone Church. I’m ready for “spiritual warfare,” my friends, whatever that is.

 

 

 

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